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Book:  The Lifestyle Blueprint

Author:  Dave Perrotta

Purchase:  PrinteBook

Citation:  Perrotta, D. (2021). The Lifestyle Blueprint. Coppell, TX.

Big Takeaways and Key Ideas:​

Even if you have a dating “dry spell” for a few weeks, don’t freak out about it. Understand that dating success has cycles, and it’s part of the game. (pg. 13)

Get to a point where you can walk into a room and know you’ve got a good chance with any girl in there. Plow through self-doubt and start conversations (even if they don’t go the exact way you want them to). Don’t take yourself too seriously and be ok with looking stupid. (pg. 17)

If you pay attention at a bar, you’ll notice that 90% of guys spend the whole night drinking with their friends. Meanwhile, 10% of guys are talking to the most attractive girls and having a great time. The other 90% of guys make excuses, saying “that guys must know her already.” (pg. 60)

Here’s the problem with small towns: Quality girls won’t stay there. And if she does stay there, she’ll likely lack the motivation to maintain the things that make her a quality girl (fitness, ambition, attractiveness, personal growth) … because there’s less social pressure for her to “stay hot.” Can you find quality girls in a small town? Sure, but they’re rare, and most of them are already in relationships. And the ones who aren’t get scooped up quickly (unless they’ve got some big red flags). (pg. 140)

You’ll want to increase your SMV as much as possible, and put yourself in locations where it’s higher than others … and where there are lots of high-SMV girls. This is also why you want to leave small towns. Even if you have a high SMV, it won’t matter much if the only girls around have a lower SMV. You’ll be forced to settle. (pg. 146)

Lots of guys use drinking as “social courage,” but it’s a slippery slope. Drinking weakens your communication skills and compounds more with every drink. You’ve also got a terrible hangover the next day, which hinders your ability to do work, think clearly, and push your lifestyle in the right direction. It’s best to match every drink with a non-alcoholic drink. Not only does this make for better nights out, but it makes your nightlife habit more sustainable. You don’t sacrifice a full day of a hangover as a result. (pg. 200)

Online dating messaging tips: 1) send a fun/flirty first message; 2) 3-4 messages MAX to build rapport and familiarity; 3) tell her she seems fun and ask if she wants to hang out sometime; 4) When she says yes, say, “Cool, give me your number so we don’t have to message on here, and 5) Set up and schedule the date through text.

How to get a girl to follow you on IG: Like 1-2 of their pictures. Leave 1-2 comments with fun emojis on their pics. Follow them. When going for the close, say “Well Ally, you seem like good vibes. Would be fun to grab a drink and hang out sometime this week. You up for it?” The biggest thing to remember is to push your conversations. Don’t be one of the many guys who gets “stuck” in two-week long text convos that lead nowhere. Be the guy who moves fast, goes for the date, and moves on if it doesn’t work out. (pg. 233)

Drinks at a bar (or dinner) is great. They are fun, social places where it’s easy to have good conversation and get physical. Just make sure to sit next to her rather than across from her at a table. (pg. 240)

Get physical right away. Some tips: 1) Sit next to her instead of across from her; 2) Hug her when you first see her (establishes physicality from the very beginning); 3) Put your arm around her intermittently; 4) Make strong eye contact throughout (roughly 70% of the time). (pg. 242)

Quick kisses are better than full-on making out: The quick 3-5 second kiss builds tension and keeps her wanting more. The long make-out session kills the tension. Save the making out until you’re at home, in private. (pg. 243)

I was lucky it didn’t work out with my former girlfriend. I would’ve been stuck with a girl who had very different values, and this would’ve hindered my growth and life experience. Once I’d experienced abundance, it became clear how much of my “love” for this girl was a result of scarcity … if I’d lost her, I wouldn’t have known what I would do. (pg. 247)

Nothing against the girls I dated in college, but if I’d settled for one of those girls, I would have missed out on a lot. The women I’ve gone on to date were of higher quality, not just in terms of looks but also in terms of how we matched up personality and value-wise. I began to attract women that I’d never thought I’d have a chance with before - but it was my new reality, it felt normal. (pg. 248)

Remember that most guys don’t take action. Chances are, the average guy hasn’t gone through anything close to the transformation you are going on. Plus, the average guys’ self-awareness is low; he probably hasn’t experienced abundance, nor does he know what he actually wants. What’s worse, he doesn’t even know that he doesn’t know. So, it makes zero sense to follow in his footsteps or feel even the slightest bit of social pressure due to his relationship choices. (pg. 249)

Does she care about improving herself long-term, or is she stagnant? For example, if you love to work out, and she hasn’t hit the gym in years, that’ll cause issues. If you’re super goal-oriented, but she wants to make you the main focus of her life, that probably won’t work out either. (pg. 255)

Your financial runway is how many months you can live your current lifestyle based only on savings. If you spend $2,000 per month and have $20,000 in the bank, that’s a 10 month runway. The bigger your runway, the more freedom and security you have. If and when you build a passing income stream that is larger than your monthly expenses, you are financially free, and your runway becomes unlimited. (pg. 262)

Worried about not getting a ROI on your emergency fund? Don’t be. Consider the following: “What is the return on cash in the bank that gives you the option of changing careers, or retiring early, or freedom from worry? I’d say it’s incalculable. We can’t measure it like we measure interest rates. Having money in an emergency fund allows you to have no-brainer opportunities fall into your lap. This is a hidden return on your savings.” (pg. 281)

Long commutes eat into your salary. Let’s say your commute is 40 minutes to and from your workplace. The extra 80 minutes a day adds up to almost an entire extra workday a week. That’s time and money you lose with every single trip. (pg. 305)

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