BOOK SUMMARIES

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Book:  The Unplugged Alpha

Author:  Richcard Cooper

Purchase:  PrinteBookAudiobook

Citation:  Cooper, R. (2020). The unplugged alpha : the no bullsh*t guide to winning with women and life. Whitby, Ontario: Entrepreneurs in Cars.

Three Big Takeaways:
 
  1. The genuine burning desire you receive from a woman must be organic. You cannot manufacture it or negotiate it. You can, however, work on yourself. In fact, it is the only part of the universe that you can control. If you are fat, fix it. If you are broke, fix it. If you don't understand game, learn it. These aspects are truly within your control. Your highest return-on-investment in life will always be that of being a man of vision, purpose, and who is always chasing excellence. (pg. 46)
     

  2. When it comes to looks, money, status, and game, there is no order of importance. A man should do his best to max himself out in every area. They are synergistic and create a compounding effect as you improve in all areas. At the end of the day, the pursuit of excellence in these areas should be for yourself, not for the goal of getting women. Women should only ever be a by-product of looks, money, status, and game. Remember, women should never be the focus of your life, only a compliment to it. (pg. 101)
     

  3. Of the hundreds of men that I’ve coached, one of the most common reasons for booking a call was to deal with a condition known as “oneitis.” We loosely define oneitis as when a guy falls hard for a girl, to the point of obsessing over her. Women will say that they feel oneitis too, but it’s never anywhere near close to the debilitating degree of “oneitis” that I’ve seen men suffer from. It’s a scarcity mindset and is something I’ve personally experienced in the past. Men suffering from oneitis can’t sleep properly or focus on tasks. They lose weight because of a lack of appetite and are distracted from chasing excellence. The sulking can last for weeks, months, or years. It’s one of the most pathetic things guys can do. (pg. 142) 

     

Other Key Ideas:​
 

After my breakup, for longer than I care to admit, I experienced trauma through intrusive distressing recollections of events, flashbacks, and nightmares. I routinely woke up at 3 a.m. and couldn't fall back asleep as my mind was subconsciously trying to reconcile what happened. (pg. 20)

Never forget: women break rules for alphas and make rules for betas. A woman will break all her rules if she views you as an alpha. Every. Single. Time. (pg. 34)

How many husbands have you seen with exhausted and beaten down looks on their faces? Their kids, ages 1, 3, and 5, are out of control. His, now rotund, wife with her permanent resting b**** face scowls at him about how incompetent he is for putting the wrong diapers in the shopping cart. (pg. 38)

How do I create such an enthusiastic desire in her so she signals a clear indicator of interest in me? The answer is that you can't manufacture it. It must be natural. You must be a man that is desirable. You must be a man that exudes confidence, competence, and strength. (pg. 45)

I've had plenty of women over the years, from my past, that may have been possibly interested in me back then, only to express a much higher desire later on down the road as my sexual market value had greatly improved. This often happens when she deems that her SMV has gone down, all while watching your SMV go up as you approach your own SMV peak later in life. (pg. 45)

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the absolute best version of myself, where would I place myself right now? A perfect 10 would mean that you have already achieved the level of wealth, self-care, success, income, desirability, and social recognition that you couldn't do much better. You live where you want, drive cars you love, take vacations when and where you want. You look masculine and strong. If you are rating yourself a 6 or lower, then you may want to fix yourself before you go chasing after women. Your ROI on the time invested with women will be low and you will probably become frustrated with your results. Women always seek men who are a few points higher than them on the SMV scale. As a man, you need to do the work on yourself if you want to be successful with women. Never forget that women have always viewed men as success objects, whereas men have always viewed women as sex objects. (pg. 47)

High-value males keep chasing excellence and purpose in life. They don't let problem women interfere with their life's mission. (pg. 51)

Tattoos all over a beautiful woman is like putting bumper stickers all over a Lamborghini. You don't do it as it shows a lack of taste. I've never met a woman with several visible tattoos that didn't bring at least three or more red flags to the table. (pg. 62)

Social media is a staple in today's world, and almost all women are on it. However, women who use public social media to gain attention from men should be avoided. Most women can become drunk on social media attention. So if you consider a long-term relationship with a woman who is constantly seeking attention online, you may need to date her non-exclusively until she abandons her plans. Do not take these women seriously. They are to be limited to friends with benefits status only. (pg. 65)

Any woman attempting to rush you into having kids and getting married, without allowing for a 2-year vetting period, is a big red flag. Many women put degrees and careers ahead of their prime childbearing years. As they approach their mid-30s, they grow desperate. Remember, men can capably father healthy children well into their 40s. For women, their prime childbearing years decrease rapidly after 30. (pg. 68)

I've had well over 1,000 coaching calls with men, and the one common denominator that keeps showing up is that men dramatically complicate their lives by allowing single mothers into them. Now, not every single mother is bad news. But, the reality is, they bring a lot of problems into men's lives that women without children simply don't. When I got divorced at 39, I did what most men typically did in that scenario. I looked around and found that most women in my age range had children in tow. Unfortunately, when you get involved with a single mother you will never be her top priority. Most men will be placed very low on the list of priorities. You will often be expected to make your hobbies and passions less of a priority, so she can focus on hers. Truth is, most men that get into a relationship with single mothers will be required to shift their priorities around for her and her kids. (pg. 80)

Women possess an ingrained firmware that selects for the best-looking man, who has sufficient resources, and status. Not because they're picky gold-diggers, but because they need to ensure that they pass on the best jeans and can retain access to sufficient resources for the survival of their offspring. Therefore, men view women as beauty objects; women view men as success objects. (pg. 89)

Most men behave like women are a scarce commodity, placing them high up on a pedestal while worshipping them. Yeah, nothing could be further from the truth. High-value men who are maxed out on their looks, money, status, and game are scarce. Conversely, attractive women are everywhere. Don't believe me? Search the hashtag #fitnessgirl on Instagram, and there are millions of results. (pg. 90)

When women are shown images of men's bodies in studies and asked to rate attractiveness, they subconsciously seek a 1.6 ratio of shoulder to hip width. Yet, most men in developed Western countries are fat. You can accomplish a V taper along with a thin waist and visible abs by eating right, and build broad shoulders, large traps, and a muscular back, by lifting right. This is an area that almost all men can max out in that will significantly improve their overall look. (pg. 91)

Style is another area where men can improve their look dramatically. You should wear clothes that fit you well and compliment your physique. You must wear clothes that fit properly. They can dramatically improve your looks, especially if you put in the work for a nice physique. (pg. 92)

Lifting weights, eating right, improving your personal hygiene, and having a well-thought-out image can do wonders. It's called “looks maxing.” The great equalizer and looks is photography. When it comes to pictures for dating apps or social media, definitely hire a photographer. Bring along 3 tailored outfits, ask the photographer to select some subtle locations, and then let them work their magic. Many men significantly improve their results with women on dating apps with superior photography. (pg. 94)

Throughout history, women have always preferred men with money. Even with your style and physique locked down, your looks will only get you so far if you haven't got any money. You should aim to be in the top 10% of income earners where you live. As you get older, the significance of wealth increases because, like it or not, your looks will decrease. Money is the ultimate equalizer for unattractive men. (pg. 95)

Every man in the West should aim to be a millionaire by the time they are 40. This isn’t for female validation. It’s for you. Money creates freedom and options. Women are merely the by-product and they should never be the main reason that you continue to chase excellence. (pg. 96)

Several dating sites have released data over the years on how men and women use online dating sites. And some startling results have emerged. The top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men. While the bottom 80% of men are competing for the bottom 22% of women. (pg. 120)

Photography is vital. On matching apps, it’s the primary driver that dictates which direction she will swipe. It’s also the area where you can create the illusion of a SMV that’s one to two points higher if you do it right. It’s essential that you hire a photographer to take pictures for dating apps or social proof. Many men have significantly improved their results with women on dating apps with the correct use of superior quality photography. (pg. 123)

The entire point of communicating back and forth on a dating application is to weed out the manipulative time wasters and then get her number to set up a date. That’s it. The biggest mistake men make is in wasting time “getting to know her.” Keep in mind, many women will use dating apps just to get fleeing social validation from me. They will ignore, or ghost, any guy they have a low desire for, even if they previously matched with you. Your first message should be something playful like: “You look like you could be trouble.” Ask her this question to establish her interest level. A woman with a high level of interest will respond and engage with you. If she isn’t asking questions, or uses brief responses, she isn’t that into you. If she asks questions, be somewhat vague in your responses. Remember, women love exciting and mysterious men, so don’t share all your most interesting information. Once you’ve exchanged a few messages back and forth, message her with: “I’m busy today, and I’m not on here often, but what’s your number? Let’s set up a date to meet this week.” If she is into you, she will give you her number. If not, she will give you an excuse. It’s always one or the other. Do not take social media, IG, or Snapchat as a replacement for the phone number. Women WANT a man that can take control and set up the date and you need a number to do that. If she offers you to follow her on social media, immediately decline the offer. Again, if she has a genuine desire for you, then she will give her her number. When she does, text her within a day, and set up a date. Otherwise, unmatch her and move right on to the next. (pg. 127)

Never, ever initiate a “where do we stand?” talk. It’s weak and signals scarcity in your life. Let her bring it up. Remember, women are the gatekeepers to sex, while men are the gatekeepers to relationships. You get to decide if you want to become more serious with a woman. (pg. 147)